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Topic: Wow, so much for vacation  (Read 507 times)
dragonlair
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« on: December 21, 2018, 11:49:04 AM »

So, I took 2 weeks off to get ready for Christmas and so I can go to my parents house. I return to work on Christmas day.

I picked my youngest son up from prison on the 18th. He is now living in a city about 34 miles away. It took 2 days ot get him settled. His father and then step mother took all his belongings and placed them in a storage unit, then didn't pay for it, nor did they bother to inform me so I could get it and bring it to my house. So, he had nothing when he was released, except the clothes on his back. No coat/hat/gloves/boots. Just a single pair of jeans, shirt, sweatshirt, boxes and tee shirt and the sneakers I had bought for him while he was still "inside".

Needless to say, I had to buy him a whole new wardrobe, stock his "pantry", get him  everything you need for a small apartment. He now has what he needs, but it took my entire pay check. Sigh.

His father disappeared early on in his prison sentence, so he has supplied no money for the stuff my son needed, nor much of anything. He moved to Ecuador, so I had to pass messages on, when he bothered to send them.

Now, suddenly, his father is back in the area but is waiting until our son is all settled to go visit him. The apartment right now is a tiny, nasty little efficiency apartment but he is on the list for a bigger place. I just know his father is going to try to manipulate him into moving in with him and having my son support him. That's what he has always done and why he has almost no friends and his other 3 sons have little to nothing to do with him.

But, anyway, he is free and settling in to his new life.  Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley I've waited 12 years for this day. Best Christmas present ever.
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DragonLair Farm and Kennel in Central Maine with Nubians, Lamanchas and Oberhasli. Of course, combinations of 2 or more breeds happens also.
imalilbirdie
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« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2018, 07:41:57 AM »

Some parents will do things like this, and it's so sad that they feel they have to do this.  I do hope your Son learned how to be tough and say "No" during his term away.  Hopefully that place strengthened him and built some character as to what's right and what's wrong, and he realizes that his Dad is wrong and a shyster.  Deb, the best we can do, is lay the road ahead of them and let them travel it, and pray they make the right decisions, with or without Dads influence.  I will pray for him.  The efficiency apartment is perfect for him...Deb, he didn't expect to live in a mansion when he came out...so it's ok.  He gets a job, and a home, and like us when we first started out, we had hand me downs, and mixed matched used furniture and odds and ins tables and chairs and pots and pans that's on their last legs....but they got us through and we were proud of it....I'm sure he's just as proud.  Remember you helped raise that boy...so you planted roots, roots that he will return to in God's time.

It's a wonderful Christmas for you I'm sure...even though it's not been an easy one...it's the best gift anyone could receive.  I'm so happy for you.
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~ Birdie ~
dragonlair
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« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2018, 11:31:56 AM »

Thank you, Pam.

I know starting like he is will not harm him, I just wish it could have been a better place. It's really a dump and I worry about fires with most of the residents being smokers and the building very old. His attitude right now is " this is the first step of the next 57 years". Lol Not sure where the number came from. I guess he plans on living until he's 91? I hope he has longer than that!
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DragonLair Farm and Kennel in Central Maine with Nubians, Lamanchas and Oberhasli. Of course, combinations of 2 or more breeds happens also.
Julie H
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« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2018, 01:18:48 PM »

I would imagine after prison anything that is his alone is enough.  I hope and pray that from here on his life does nothing but improve  Smiley
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Pat
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« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2018, 10:39:03 PM »

Deb -- Thinking of you and your boys...hoping that marriage has settled your roughneck down, and that your younger boy, whom you told me was generally known to be wrongly convicted, is not angry or resentful, and is ready to get on with his life.  Please know that my thoughts and best wishes are with you, and with them.  You all deserve a break.

Happy holidays -- and here's hoping 2019  will be a good one.

Pat
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dragonlair
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« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2018, 03:28:25 PM »

Marriage has not helped him at all. I feel so sorry for my daughter in law, she loves him so much and he is such a jerk to her.

Youngest is doing awesome. He is trying so hard to get a full time job, nothing out there right now. He is trying to make ends meet on a 10.00/hr job and meet his 120.00 a week rent when he is lucky to get 8 hours a week. He has matured considerably, and knows that his father is not his best friend and really would just mess up his life if he really let him back into his life as bad as before. His dad is a leech, has lived off of every family member and friend he had to where no one wants anything to do with him. He was living in an impoverished country on US Tax payers dime because he fakes a disability. Once Bumps release date got closer and he realized that Bump was not going to be living with me, he suddenly moved back into the area. He has plans on moving in with Bump once a real apartment opens up. Bumps brothers and I have all warned him, but he had already figured it out and is not going to let that happen.
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DragonLair Farm and Kennel in Central Maine with Nubians, Lamanchas and Oberhasli. Of course, combinations of 2 or more breeds happens also.
imalilbirdie
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« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2018, 07:11:26 AM »

Oh my gosh...I would seriously contemplate a restraining/exparte' order against him if it were me.  He has to have something that shows him tooth and nail that you all are fed up with his antics.  As for the oldest, does he ever say why he's so angry?  Your DIL, advise her not to be his excuse to behave like he does.  As the saying goes, "kill them with kindness".
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~ Birdie ~
dragonlair
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« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2019, 02:37:38 PM »

My ex hasn't done anything that would allow any kind of order against him. However, my son is determined to keep him from moving in. Lol
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DragonLair Farm and Kennel in Central Maine with Nubians, Lamanchas and Oberhasli. Of course, combinations of 2 or more breeds happens also.
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